I'm PJ and I do what I want!

5:52pm: Fuck the POLICE!!!!! lol
So yeah yesterday was probably the craziest days of my life.

I was driving home from AJ's, and I seen this state cop trying to pull out of a gas station. I didn't think anything of it because I wasn't doing anything wrong. So I kept on driving and all of a sudden the cop's flashers went on and I was like what the fuck. So I pulled into a Marathon gas station by Allen and Eureka and parked. I was trying to find my weed in my purse and stuff it in my underwear just in case, but I couldn't find it. The cop walked up to my window and I rolled it down. The first thing he said was, wow somebody has been smoking weed today. Have you? Your car reeks. And I was like no I haven't. Then he said can I see your license and registration? So while I was getting it I asked him why I got pulled over and he said I can't have stuff hanging from my mirror and my license plate light thingy was burnt out. Then he said can you please step out of the car. So I did and he turned me around and put handcuffs on me. I was thinking to myself what the fuck? My car doesnt even smell like weed. He then asks me, Am I going to find any weed in here? Because if you're lieing, you're going to be fucked. So I told him that I had a gram in my purse and then he put me in the backseat of his car. I was seriously freaking out because my dad was going to woop my ass. So he comes back and sets the gram next to me and says, so what are your parents going to think about this? And I said that I was going to be in a lot of trouble. He kept asking me wierd questions like so you play sports? What positions? How old are your parents? Then he was like you know, you can go to jail right now and not get out for 15 years. Your 18 so that means you won't get out till your 33. How would you like that? Then he said so do you want me to take you to jail or do you want to dump that weed out on the ground? So of course I said I would dump it on the ground. He then takes the hand cuffs off me and I dump the weed on the ground and he grabs his ticket thing to write me a ticket. Then he was like no I'm not even going to do that. Just go home now. So I get out and he let me go with no ticket or MIP. That's crazy shit lol. I really think I'm the luckiest person alive.

7:47pm: In The Last 48 Hours, Have You:
01. Cried: yes
02. Bought something: weed, cigs, xannax, alcohol...........wow
04. Sang: yes
05. Eaten: yes
06. Been kissed: yes
07. Felt stupid: yes
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: no
09. Met someone new: no
10. Moved on: from what?
11. Talk to an ex: no
12. Missed an ex: hell no
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: yeah - my bf
14. Had a serious talk: yes
15. Missed someone: no
16. Hugged someone: yes
17. Fought with your parents: no
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: no

Social Life:
01. Best girl friend: Danielle
02. Best guy friend: AJ
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: AJ
04. If no, current dating partner:
05. Hobbies: Smoking weed, smoking weed, and oh - smoking weed
06. Pager: i have a cell phone
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: i think both
08. What type automobile do you drive: a mother f'in jimmy!
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: monte carlo or grand am
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: both
11. Where is the best hangout: rack n roll lol
12. Do you have a job: yes
13. Do you attend church: hell no
14. Do you like being around people: no not really - only certain people

Who...
01. Have you known the longest: Danielle
02. Do you argue the most with: probably AJ but we never really argue
04. Is the most un-trustworthy: I don't choose to be friends with people who are untrustworthy
05. Makes you laugh the most: Danielle
06. Has been there through all the hard times: Danielle and Nancy
07. Has the coolest parents: Molly
08. Has the coolest siblings: hmm I don't know
09. Is the most blunt: Nancy
10. Is the smartest: Molly

Personal:
01. Who is your role model: Jessica Simpson!
02. What are some of your pet peeves: When people don't answer their phones, people that ditch me, people that hog blunts lol, when someones mad at me and they dont talk to me about it, people that pretend they are drunk or high when they really arent, hmm i have a lot.
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: no
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: yes
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Big strong guys
06. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: not really
07. Are you the dumper or the dumped: both
08. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": relationship
09. Want/wanted someone you don't/couldnt have right now: no
10. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: no
11. Do you want to get married: yes
12. Do you want kids: yes
14. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: yes
15. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: i guess my hair even though its fried from ironing it
16. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: i care too much about people's feelings
17. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: i wish i hung out with my friends more, i wish i lost weight.
18. Are you happy with you: not really
19. Are you happy with your life: AJ is really the only thing that makes me happy


Current mood: irrited
Current music: weezer
Current taste: snickers ice cream bar
Current hair: straight and down
Current clothes: jeans, shirt, zip up hoody
Current annoyance: Waiting for AJ to call me
Current smell: cat litter
Current thing I ought to be doing: nothing really, I'm just waiting
Current windows open: buddy list
Current desktop picture: pink stars
Current favorite band: the beatles
Current book: ive been reading jack the ripper for a while now
Current cd in stereo: i dont know



**basics**
Nickname:: PJ
Location:: Allen Park
Gender:: female
Birthplace:: trenton - i forgot the name of the hospital
Birthstone:: sapphirre? i dont know how to spell it
Birthday:: 9/23/86
Sign:: libra
Righty or Lefty:: righty
Screenname:: blondie02310

** your looks **
Height:: 5'7
Shoe size:: 10
Hair Color:: blonde
Hair Length:: long
Eye Color:: its like a grayish bluish greenish color
Glasses:: no
Braces:: no
Piercings:: 2 holes on each ear and one piercing on the top of my right ear
Tattoos:: nope

** fashion **
What do you usually wear:: jeans and t-shirts
What kind of shoes do you wear:: i have a billion shoes - sauconys, converse, etnies, DC, Vans
Do you wear a watch:: no
Color you never wear:: purple
Color you wear at least once a week:: blue
Something you wear everyday:: i dont know
Do you wear make up everyday:: most of the time
Make up essential:: eyeshadow eyeliner and mascara
Most cherished piece of clothing:: my beatles sweatshirt
Do you wear belts:: yes
Do you wear hats:: yea
How many pairs of shoes do you have:: shit um let me think....I know over 15

** music **
How many CD's do you have:: too many
Last CD you bought:: green day - american idiot
Whats in your CD player right now:: i dont know
Do you download music:: yes

** Favorites **
Color:: pink
Number:: 6 and 23
Season:: fall
Ice cream:: cookie dough
Website:: pure volume
Quote:: i dont know lol
Store:: value world, pac sun, hollister and buckle
Song:: too many
Movie:: napoleon dynamite!
Actor:: napoleon dynamite!
Actress:: i dont really have one
Kind of movies:: comedy, chick flicks, and creepy ones like the ring but not scary ones like freddy
Place to be:: AJ's cuz I'm there more then I'm at home.
Time of day:: i dont know
Clothing Brand:: silver jeans, volcom, and hollister
Animal:: sloths
Food:: wendys!
Holiday:: christmas
Shape:: star
Restaraunt:: manuels!




x the things that apply to you

Have you ever...
[x] been drunk.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[ ] rode in a taxi.
[x] been dumped.
[ ] been fired.
[ ] been in a fist fight.
[ ] been arrested.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[ ] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school.
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[x] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[ ] went ice skating.
[ ] dropped x.
[x] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[x] had a sweet sixteen.
[ ] had a quinceanera.
[x] had a car.
[x] drove.

Do you...
[x] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[ ] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[ ] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[x] hate yourself.
[ ] think your attractive.
[x] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to soul.
[x] listen to techno.
[ ] listen to reggae./ska
[ ] paint your nails.
[ ] have more than 1 best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[x] play an instrument(s).
[ ] have slippers.
[ ] wear boxers.
[x] wear underwear in general
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[ ] claim.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.

Are you...

[x] ok.
[x] bored.
[x] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] asian.
[ ] short.
[x] tall.
[x] mellow.
[ ] sick.
[x] lazy.
[ ] single.
[x] taken.
[ ] looking.
[x] not looking.
[ ] talking to someone.
[ ] IMing someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[ ] annoyed.
[x] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[ ] in your room.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[ ] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[x] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] racist.






9 things you look forward to:
- seeing AJ
- smoking
- south padre
- school to end
- move out
- eating
- ?
- ?

8 things you like to wear:
- jeans
- sweatpants
- sweatshirts
- socks
- shoes
- belts
- t-shirts
- undies

7 things that annoy you:
- waiting
- people
- my dad
- school
- stiff necks lol
- fake people
- when people ignore my phone calls

6 things you say most days:
- what the fuck
- shit
- damn it
- be nice
- your gay
- lets go smoke

5 things you do everyday:
- smoke
- see aj
- listen to music
- eat
- sleep

4 people you want to spend more time with:
- danielle
- sara faletti
- rams horn crew
- nancy and jaqueline

3 movies you could watch on repeat:
- napoleon dynamite
- a league of their own
- old school


2 of your favorite songs at the moment:
- taking back sunday - timberwolves at new jersey
- unwritten law - save me

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
- AJ




If I were a month, I'd be: September
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Saturday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: morning
If I were a planet, I'd be: mars
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: starfish
If I were a direction, I'd be: east
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: a fouton lol
If I were a sin, I'd be: poop
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: pocahontas haha jk i dont know
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Mountain dew!
If I were a tree, I'd be: a peach tree
If I were a bird, I'd be: a peacock
If I were a tool, I'd be: a wrench
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: sunflower
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: cloudy
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: unicorn? lol
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: guitar
If I were an animal, I'd be: tiger
If I were a color, I'd be: pink
If I were an emotion, I'd be: sad
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: steamed carrots
If I were a sound, I'd be: fart
If I were an element, I'd be: water
If I were a song, I'd be: lifehouse - hanging by a moment
If I were a food, I'd be: a crazy
If I were a place, I'd be: value world
If I were a material, I'd be: dude what the fuck these questions are gay
If I were a taste, I'd be: good!
If I were a scent, I'd be: cool water
If I were a word, I'd be: poop
If I were an object, I'd be: poop
If I were a body part, I'd be: a booby
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: angry
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: english
If I were a number, I'd be: 6
If I were a TV show I'd be: real world
If I were a hobby I'd be: smoking that weed! lol



r e l a t i o n s h i p s
who is your best friend?: Danielle
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yes

r a n d o m | s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: hollister
2. Any tattoos or piercings: piercings

s p e c i f i c s
1. Do you do drugs?: yes
2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: pantene pro-v
3. what are you most scared of?: the dark
4. what are you listening to right now?: music
5. who is the last person that called you?: AJ
6. where do you want to get married?: i dont know
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 64
8. if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? not let people walk all over me

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: pink
2. pasta: rav
3. subjects in school: english
4. animals: tashas
5. sports: SOFTBALL

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: Tash
2. smoked?: yeah
3. bungee jumped?: no
4. made yourself throw up?: yea
5. gone skinny dipping?: no
6: ever been in love?: yea
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yea
8. pictured your crush naked?: yeah lol AJ
9. actually seen your crush naked?: yeah AJ
10. cried when someone died?: yes
11. lied: yes
12. fallen for your best friend?: no
13. been rejected?: no
14. rejected someone?: yeah
15. used someone?: no
16. done something you regret?: yes

f i n a l | q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like filling these out?: no this one is too long
2. gold or silver?: silver
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: dodgeball
4. favorite cartoon?: i dont know
5. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: frosted mini wheats
6. who would you hate to be locked in a room with?: i dont know
7. who would you love to be locked in a room with?: AJ!
8. could you live without your computer?: no
9. would you color your hair?: yeah
11. habla espanol?: some
12. how many people are on your buddy list?: 200
13. drink alcohol?: not much
14. like watching sunrises or sunsets?: never have lol
15. what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: emotional


f o r|a g a i n s t
Long distance relationships = against unless it had to be that way
Using someone = against
Killing people = against
Teenage smoking = for
Premarital sex = for
Driving drunk = i dont really care
Gay/lesbian relationship = i think it should be legal - who cares if they are gay
Soap operas = against
Abortions = depends on the situation

Opposite Sex
||1|| Guitar or Drum Player - either
||2|| Skater or Surfer - either
||3|| Brown or Blue Eyes - blue
||4|| Blonde or Brunette - brunette
||5|| Brains or Looks (Be honest!) - both



Food -
||11|| Hamburger or Hotdog - hamburger
||12|| Pie or Cake - pie
||13|| Apple or Banana - apple
||14|| Coke or Pepsi - coke
||15|| Chicken or Beef - beef
||16|| Oreos or Chips Ahoy - chips ahoy
||17|| Pancakes or Waffles – waffles
||18|| Chocolate or Vanilla - chocolate
||19|| Strawberry or Cherry - cherry
||20|| Watermelon or Cantaloupe - niether
||21|| Potato or Macaroni Salad – niether
||22|| Wheat or White - white
||23|| Tic Tacs or Altoids – tic tacs
||24|| Sausage or Bacon - niether
||25|| Sour Cream and Chives or BBQ – niether

Sports -
||26|| Baseball or Football - baseball
||27|| Swim or Track - swim
||28|| Tennis or Golf - golf
||29|| Skiing or Sledding – sledding
||30|| Bicycling or Jogging – bicycling

Stores/Restaurants -
||31|| McDonalds or Burger King - mcdonalds
||32|| JC Penny's or Sears - jcpenny
||33|| Wal-mart or Target – Target.
||34|| Trophy's or TGI Fridays - TGI fridays
||35|| Albertson's or Vons – ?

Clothes -
||36|| Pants or Shorts - pants
||36|| Zip-Up or Pull-Over Sweatshirt – both
||37|| Sandals or Tennis Shoes - tennis shoes
||38|| Dresses or Skirts - skirts
||39|| Mittens or Gloves - mittens
||40|| Print or Solid - solid

Names -
||41|| Bob or Bill – bill
||42|| Jessica or Jennifer - jessica
||43|| Aaron or Erin - erin - thats my sisters name!
||44|| Carrie or Kari - kari
||45|| Todd or Tom – tom
||46|| Lynn or Lee - Lee
||47|| Sarah or Susie - susie
||48|| Jack or John - John
||49|| Lisa or Linda - Lisa
||50|| Matt or Nick - matt

Music -
||51|| Punk or Rock - rock
||52|| Country or Bubble Gum Pop - country
||53|| Rap or Techno- rap
||54|| Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera - ew neither
||55|| *N Sync or Backstreet Boys – bsb!
||56|| Korn or Staind - staind
||57|| Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park – niether
||58|| Guitar or Drums - guitar
||59|| Piano or Violin - piano
||60|| CDs or Radio - CDs

TV -
||61|| Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven – neither
||62|| Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer or 7th Heaven - nieher
||63|| Law and Order or The Practice - niether
||64|| Spy TV or Candid Camera – niether
||65|| Smallville or Charmed - niether

Cinema -
||66|| Bruce Willis or Kevin Costner – bruce willis
||67|| Jennifer Love Hewitt or Neve Campbell – neve campbell
||68|| Aladdin or Lion King - lion king
||69|| Snow White or Sleeping Beauty – sleeping beauty
||70|| Comedy or Drama – comedy
||71|| Horror or Science Fiction - science fiction
||72|| Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer - NIETHER!
||73|| Not Another Teen Movie or Scary Movie - Not another teen movie
||74|| Titanic or Pearl Harbor - both
||75|| The Mask or Ace Ventura - ace ventura

Computer/Video Games -
||76|| AOL or MSN - aol
||77|| Dogpile or Google - google
||78|| Mac or PC - PC
||79|| PS2 or N64 – ps2
||80|| Mario Brothers or Zelda - mario brothers

School -
||81|| Pen or Pencil- pen
||82|| English or History - english
||83|| Math or Science - science
||84|| Home Economics or Woodshop – home economics
||85|| Backpack or Messenger Bag – backpack

Animals
||86|| Cat or Dog - dog
||87|| Fish or Hamster - hamster
||88|| Tiger or Lion - tiger
||89|| Butterfly or Lady Bug - butterfly
||90|| Seals or Otters - seals

Products -
||91|| Tide or Gain - i dont know
||92|| Herbal Essences or Suave – herbal essence
||93|| Dove or Irish Spring - dove
||94|| A-JAX or 409 - whats that
||95|| Crest or Colgate - crest cuz i got those white strips

Other -
||96|| John Saul or Steven King – steven king
||97|| Chocolate or Roses - chocolate
||98|| Toyota or Ford - ford
||99|| Paper or Plastic - plastic
||100|| Necklace or Bracelet - necklace

10:52am: Everything Sucks
So yesterday I had some people over. It was gay because people that said they were going to come over didn't, but whatever. Then my parents came home while we were all drinking and I just smoked and I was all drunk. My mom came downstairs and was like talking to us and shit. She didn't suspect a thing. It just sucked because AJ was just being gay to me the whole time, and now we are in a fight because he thinks that I'm still talking to Joe. I haven't talked to him in forever and that just pisses me off that he doesn't fucking trust me. He doesn't even realize how much he means to me but whatever he can believe what the fuck he wants.

Good News: Sherifi has a job at Southland and she graduated. Good job Sherifi!

Other Good News: I finally have a job!

3:08pm: So my parents wouldn't let me go to the Taking Back Sunday concert on Sunday. They are so fucking gay. I'm fucking 18 years old and they are trying to tell me that I can't go to a fucking concert. They are so gay. Anyways I didn't really do shit over the weekend. I hung out with AJ on Friday and we didnt really do anything. Saturday I smoked and then came home at 10 and went to bed. Sunday I went to AJ's for like 45 minutes which was kinda pointless but at least I got to see him. I need some excitement in my life. I'm too boring, I need to be more risky or something. lol I won't even go to parties anymore. Actually I never liked going to them anyways. I have my last season basketball game tonight. I can't believe that in a couple weeks I will never play basketball again. That's so fucked up because I pretty dedicated my whole life to basketball and softball and it's almost over for good. I feel like getting really drunk this weekend. If anyone is interested in drinking with me, just let me know.

2:14pm:

The Beatles Are Love
Made by tsl_colourbars

10:17pm: I HATE MY LIFE!
Today I officially figured out that I may have an anger issue. During my basketball game, the guards of Fordson drove in and went around the guards which caught me off guard because I was guarding someone down low. Well Mrs. Shillinger enjoys yelling and said "You can't let that happen!!!!" Well of course I flip out and yell "Well maybe if they wouldn't get through the fucking guards then that wouldn't fucking happen!!!" Later in the fourth quarter there was about four minutes left and they put me in. I made one fucking mistake and they take me out within 10 seconds. Which I don't understand why anyone else on the team can make a fucking mistake but if Jaime Knight does, then you fucking take her out because she sucks!!! So anyways I stomp off the court and start flipping out and Coach Monte yells "PJ COME HERE!!" and I keep walking to the end of the bench and he continues to yell at me. So I sit next to him and he says, "If you're going to whine then sit at the end of the bench." Which I was doing in the first place and it fucking pissed me off more that he said that. So I flip out and yell "You know what Monte? I'M SORRY!! I'M SORRY I MAKE MISTAKES!!!" and he says "This conversation is over with." How fucking gay, I really cannot stand the coaching staff and I can really not wait till this fucking season is over. I will finally be able to just fucking not be stressed out one day in my life. I'm sorry if I sound like a fucking baby right now and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm just thinking about myself but I'm fucking sick of this bullshit. I'm a fucking senior and I don't start, I'm not a captain, I'm not shit. I used to be so fucking awesome at basketball and look at me now. I wasted my whole fucking life going to basketball camps, clinics all that shit just preparing for fucking High School basketball. I WASTED MY WHOLE LIFE! I can honestly say that Mrs. Shillinger has ruined my whole time being in high school and I can honestly say she ruined me life. You might think I sound crazy saying that my fucking high school coach ruined my life but sports is my life, it's all I ever had going for myself. When I look back at high school the only thing that will come to mind is how much hatred I have towards that fucking bitch.

Anyways - I just wanted to say thank you to anybody that makes my life worth wild. Especially AJ who I love so dearly and always keeps me smiling, Farkas my best friend who is always there no matter what, Ram's Horn Crew who is always down, and Nancy for always being there to talk to and has always been a great friend.

Thank You.

3:58pm: Yesterday Crackers and I went to "Richfield For Governor" at the high school. That was probably the wierdest play ever. Sara and I were just standing there waiting for them to let everyone in and this kid just comes up to us and asks Sara, "Did you vote for Richfield?" and we were just like what the fuck lol. Let me mention that we were high too so we were cracking up. The play was actually pretty good, but it could have been a little bit longer. After the play we were trying to get a hold of Tiz because she was supposed to hang out with us. We didn't get a hold of her until like 8:30 but then I guess something happened and she couldn't hang out with us. So we decided to buy 2 grams and take some xanax. So yeah we were pretty fucked up. We went to Wendy's but don't remember where we ate it because we just parked somewhere and ate. Then I wanted a McFlurry so I went and got one and we just drove around. LOL Then Sara was like just park somewhere so we can just sleep. It's like 11:00 at night and she wants me to park somewhere and sleep haha so I parked in the Cabrini parking lot and Sara was passed out. I was like "Sara......Sara......SARA!" and she like looked around and goes, "I thought you got a McFlurry?" Haha it was funny. Then I took her home because I figured if we both fell asleep we wouldn't wake up till the next morning.

Today is Halloween and I wish AJ wasn't in St. Louis. I want to hang out with him. I won't be able to see him till tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm doing tonight but I'll probably end up smoking.

3:58pm:

The \\
Last Cigarette:	Hour ago
Last Alcoholic Drink:	Last weekend
Last Car Ride:	Hour ago
Last Kiss:	Friday
Last Good Cry:	A couple days ago
Last Library Book:	Shit in like 7th Grade?
Last book bought:	I don't know
Last Book Read:	I'm reading one now
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:	A day after tomorrow
Last Movie Rented:	I don't remember
Last Cuss Word Uttered:	Fuck
Last Beverage Drank:	Mountain Dew
Last Food Consumed:	Jet's Pizza
Last Crush:	I Love my boyfriend AJ
Last Phone Call:	Attempting to call AJ but didn't answer
Last TV Show Watched:	Real World
Last Time Showered:	Yesterday
Last Shoes Worn:	My PJ Nike Shox
Last CD Played:	Snow Patrol
Last Item Bought:	2 grams
Last Download:	The Frou Frou CD
Last Annoyance:	Glenn bugging me to go pitch
Last Disappointment:	That I can't hang out with AJ on Halloween
Last Soda Drank:	Mountain Dew
Last Thing Written:	Chemistry homework
Last Key Used:	My car key
Last Words Spoken:	Nope
Last Sleep:	Last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:	I got a McFlurry last night
Last Chair Sat In:	In my kitchen
Last Webpage Visited:	My Space
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

5:24pm: Are u stuck inside a world you hate?
Are u sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

8:07pm: So last sunday my grandma died. It was so sad. My grandma had alzheimers so for the past 6 years she didn't even know who I was. She didn't even talk anymore. I used to be really close to my grandma when I was little. It was so sad looking at my grandma because she looked like how she did before she had alzheimers and it reminded me of everything about my grandma. She was so awesome. I used to always want to stay the night at my grandmas - so I would pretend I fell asleep at her house and my parents would just leave me there. I remember my grandma used to always tuck us in and say the same prayer everytime. It was kind of a scary prayer though because she talked about dieing in your sleep or something lol but I didn't understand what it meant when I was little. Every morning my grandpa would make coffee at 5 a.m. and we all woke up that early and ate breakfast together. And my grandma would make us brush our teeth before breakfast and she would make us coffee cake. Haha and she would give us baths and only put an inch of water in the bath tub and I was always so cold. I learned more about my grandma at her funeral rather then when she was alive. I didn't know that my grandma designed and made clothes. My grandma made every outfit she had. I also found out that my grandma graduated when she was 16 years old because she was so smart. She was the class president and valedvictorian. I felt so bad for my grandpa because he seriously loves my grandma so much. He used to pretend she didn't have alzheimers and visit her everyday allday at the nursing home. I feel so bad for him.

9:40pm: You wanna know what I realized today? I can't wait till I'm thirty years old. I can't wait till this high school bullshit is over. I can't wait till I'm settled down with a husband and actually happy. I can't wait till I'm away from this stupid high school drama. People always say that high school was the best time of their lives but you know what? It's fucking hell. I want to grow up. I'm never going to look back and be like wow high school was great. It's fucking gay. I basically only have two good friends that I love dearly because you know what happens in high school? If you don't hang out with your friends for a week, they take you out of their stupid shoutouts in their profile and stop saying hi in the hall way acting as if they don't know you. And if you hang out with them like over the weekend they put you back in their shoutouts. It's a fucking viscious cycle. But you know, I don't even care because I'm happy with having two friends that I know will ALWAYS be there for me no matter what and having a wonderful boyfriend that loves me and makes me happy. I am very thankful for them. I would just really like to know the meaning of life.

9:03pm: A friend says that your love
Won't mean a lot
And you know that your love
Is all you've got
At times things are so fine
And at times they're not
But when she says she loves you
That means a lot

A friend says that a love
Is never true
And you know that this
Don't apply on you
A touch can mean so much
When it's all you've got
When she says she loves you
That means a lot

Love can be deep inside
Love can be suicide
Can't you see you can't hide
What you feel when it's real

10:31pm: Hello. So today we played Cabrini. Two overtimes and we won. I played alright, I scored 6 points. I could have played better but oh well. I kinda felt like I should have played more at the end but oh well I'll never be good enough. It was nice to see my friends show up at our game, that was sweet.

I got another call for softball yesterday. Wooster college in Cleveland? Never heard of the school before. I'm supposed to call the coach back but I have no idea what to say. I don't even know if I even want to play in college, that's just something I'm going to have to decide. I don't know if I could play softball and concentrate on school at the same time. As most people know, I suck at school and at life so there isn't a good chance I could do both.

I really wish school wasn't starting. I'm not going to have that many opportunities to hang out with AJ which really sucks because I'm used to seeing him everyday. But I guess if we can get through this year, then I know that we can be together for a long time which I'm planning on.

Go Jags

11:05am: This weekend was kinda gay. Friday I hung out with AJ during the day and at night me, Danielle, Molly, and LeeAnn went to the JAGS game. It was really boring but Boombox and McG entertained me for a little bit. After the Jags game we got some food and then I went back to AJ's and we watched Hellboy? I never heard of it before and it was really gay lol. Saturday I hung out with Nancy and we smoked a blunt. I then went home and ate a shit load of dinner because I was really hungry. Then AJ called me when he got home from practice and I hung out with him for the night. Yesterday I had basketball practice in the mornin which was pretty gay cuz we didnt really do anything. Then I came home, smoked, then waited for AJ to get home from his game and then I hung out with him. I'm supposed to go shopping this weekend for my sister's "personal" wedding shower, which means I have to buy her like sexy lingerie and shit like that. Maybe I'll throw in some handcuffs or something.

Today I have practice at 4. I'm most likely hanging out with AJ after. Tommorrow we are playing Cabrini which is going to be an awesome game so everyone should go.

5:50pm: So yesterday was our first game. We won - I don't remember the score though. Shill actually played me ALOT. I was really surprised. I'm glad the bitch is starting to realize that I can actually play basketball.

I got my schedule today. My schedule isn't that hard - I have Creative Writing, Chemistry, Physcology, Trig, Pottery, and Sports Tech. Actually it does look hard lol but oh well. I don't want to start school at all, mostly because I won't be able to see AJ as much as I usually do and because I can't stand doing homework and stupid shit like that. Probably explains the 1.5 I had last year. I don't really care what I get though as long as I pass. I'm not sure if I even want to play softball in college anymore. It's just too much work and I'm too lazy for that.

Does anybody think that 12:30 is a late curfew? Because my mom seems to think that it is and she thinks I should be coming home at 11:00. I'm fucking going to be 18 next month - like I'm going to come home at 11:00. That's ridiculous. I seriously can't wait till I move away from my parents. That will probably be the happiest day of my life.

3:47pm: No, heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you touch him and you feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love's completely real, so forget anything that you've heard
And live for the moment now

5:43pm: I just got back from basketball. Damn I don't even know why I'm playing. I have no desire to play at all but I guess since it's my senior year I guess I should play. It's like, damn I've been playing basketball since I was in first grade and the Shill just fucking destroyed everything. I feel like I've wasted my whole life playing basketball. I'm probably not even starting which is bullshit, but hey I'm no good right? Anyways........... I've been having crazy dreams lately. The other night I had a dream about my dad trying to chainsaw my brother. I believe that dreams are an outlook into the future....but I don't think my dad is going to kill my brother. lol. Most of my dreams tend to somehow come true, not exactly the way my dream was, but in a different way. It's kinda wierd.

6:31pm: This is kind of interesting.

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Sex-slave
Your Favorite Band/Song	Ludacris - Rollout
You Like To Read:	Classic literature
You Firmly Believe In:	Love at first sight
Everyone Thinks You Are:	OMG WAY HOTT LOLZ
You Were Conceived:	On the 30-yard line
You Will Marry:	Your current boy/girlfriend
Quiz created with MemeGen!

3:38pm: Yeah so this week was the first week of doubles. It's so fucking hard, my legs are so sore. I can't even bend my knees. Shill is bein pretty cool to me, she is treating me alot better then she did last year. I still hate her though. lol Yesterday I got a phone call from Tiffin University. It's in Ohio. The head coach of the softball team was telling me all about the school and stuff and he wants me to come down to the campus and have a meeting with him and my parents. That's fucking awesome. They are a D2 school I think. Even though they aren't like a D1 school, it's still sweet. My sister's wedding shower was a success. She received probably every kitchen appliance ever made. It was riculous how much shit she got. Today I'm going shopping with A.J. because I need to get clothes for my senior pictures on Saturday.

5:50pm: I AM A LOSER! I just realized that today.

4:42pm: HAHAHA Ashlee Simpson wants to bang me

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:	60
Quiz created with MemeGen!

12:27am: Today instead of working out I decided to go over to A.J.'s and wake his ass up at 11 o'clock lol. I hung out with him for a while and then went home and waited for my sisters to come over so we could go to the mall and shop for Erika's wedding shower. My mom pissed me off so much because there were so many things I wanted and she wouldn't buy me anything and then Erika started bitching at me to get a job. I was just like fuck off! because I mean come on, I play softball and basketball (even though I didn't go to any basketball things this summer) but still I have a lot of shit to do, I don't need a job right now. I have my whole damn life to have a job. It's just gay because just because my mom and dad are paying for like half the wedding I don't get shit. Oh yeah, and my dad said he was going to find a house for my sister and her fiance and put the house under his name, so yeah that's fucking gay. lol I guess I'm just used of my parents spoiling me and they haven't bought me shit in so long. So yeah, I might seem like a brat but hey I'M PJ!!!!!!! hahaha After I came home from shopping, Farkas and I went to Manuel's. I haven't ate there in so long and that is my favorite restaurant of all time. After Manuel's we called up Sara and LeeAnn and we hung out for a little bit. And now I am sitting on the computer like I always do because I am a nerd and have nothing better to do at 12:30 in the morning.

7:08pm: Today I worked out at the Y. Yes lazy ass me worked out lol. When I got home I helped my mom with party favors for my sister's wedding shower which was gay because I had to tie bows and shit which I suck at. Then I took about an hour nap and AJ woke me up. I hung out with him for a little bit and came home because he had to umpire a baseball game. I think I'm hanging out with him tonight but I don't know what we are doing.

6:00pm: Damn I forgot I had one of these things. Today I had a basketball tournament in St. Clair. We fuckin played four games - I was so damn tired. I guess that's what I get for smoking. This summer has been awesome so far - playing softball and hanging out with my friends and my boyfriend. This has been the happiest I've been in a long time. Yeah so get this - my grandpa totals his cadillac and he has no idea how he did it. His memory is so fucked up he's starting to get bad like my grandma. Sometimes he doesn't even remember my name. I'm so pissed, the Incubus concert is the day of one of my softball tournaments. I really wanted to go - this sucks.

1:57pm: YES Today was our last day of school!!!!! but I got a little scare in the mail saying that I am a candidate for summer school but Kath called the school and they were just suggesting it just because I failed a semester of math but I'm good. Today we have a game @ 4 vs. Annapolis. Should be a good game. So yeah I open up the news herald today and there is a picture of me pitching and of course I'm making a goofy face lol oh well its PIMP. lol So I got some good news the other day that my cousin got drafted to the phillies. He's only a senior thats so fucking sweet. That's going to be sweet to see him playing on TV. LOL You should have seen how excited Glenn was.